Pretty cool how if you run out of money you can just stab someone and take theirs
A relationship is like a house
If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
Unless that house is a lying whore
Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
This took the best possible turn.
i aM FUCKING HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER
"at my school the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4"
im making friends with the netflix customer service guy
how sweet of you
I’M TALKING TO A DIFFERENT ONE AND TROY ASKED ABOTU ME
I FOUND TROY AGAIN A DAY LATER AND HE’S GONNA HIRE ME AS HIS PERSONAL PUBLICIST